While writing this article a news flash came on stating, in Sylva North Carolina, a man forced past the security at the entrance to a domestic violence shelter for women and shot his wife to death. According to the news report the woman had an order of protection on her person when she was murdered.

The incidence listed above just reenforced how extentsive the problem really is. According to a report by the American College of Emergency Physicians, domestic violence is the single greatest cause of injury to women between the ages of 15 and 44 in the United States; this is greater than muggings, car accidents, and rapes combined. Between two million and four million women are battered yearly in the United States, and over 2,000 of these battered women will die of their injuries. The United States Department of Justice reported that violence against women is an urgent public health problem with overwhelming and devastating consequences for women, children, and families. The same report went on to say that an intimate person - husband, ex-husband, boyfriend, ex-boyfriend - commits 30 percent of all violence against women by a single offender. Battery is against the law. Yet very few states have laws require the reporting of domestic violence. A few states require mandatory arrest of batterers, and few jurisdictions aggressively pursue cases of domestic violence and prosecute offenders even when victims refuse to press charges.

Domestic violence also called domestic abuse, intimate partner violence or battering occurs between people in intimate relationship. It takes several forms, such as coercion, threats, intimidation, isolation; and emotional, sexual, physical, and psychological abuse. Domestic abuse happen to individuals of all ages, races, socioeconomic and educational backgrounds. And domestic violence happens to men and to same-sex partners, but mostly often it involves men abusing their female partners. There are no typical victims of domestic violence. However, abusive relationship share related characteristics. All abusers aims is to gain power and control over his partner; and without proper intervention the abuse will continue.

The common belief is that domestic violence is about anger, it really is not; it's about control. However, batterers tend to take their anger out on their partner. The goal is to instill fear and gain absolute power and control in the relationship. However, anger is just one tool in the abuser's bag of tricks used to gain control. For example, the abuser may denies that the abuse really occurred or blame you for the abusive behaviors. This may leave you confused and uncertain about yourself and make you feel "as if" you are going insane. Economic abuse is another tool the abuser use to control finances. He refuses share money or discuss financial issues with you, and he makes every effort to prevent you from working outside the home. If you are employed outside the home the abuser may try to sabotage your performance by causing you to miss work or call you frequently at work. Emotional abuses are in the form of put-downs, personal ibsults and criticism or name calling designed to lower your self-esteem. Intimidation is high on the abuser list he uses certain facial images, actions and gestures to reenforce fear. To further intimidate you the abuser may throw things, damage household property, he may even abuse pets or exhibit weapons. Another important tool used by the abuser is isolation. The abuser will go to great length to limit your contact with family and friends. You are discouraged from leaving the house without his expressed permission, he makes it difficult for you to work or attend school and he controls your daily activities and social events. The ultimate tool is power, the abuser makes all major decisions, he defines the roles/goals in the relationship and behave toward you "as if" you were a servant or possession.

Non-judgmental support and information about alternatives and available services at the time of crisis can make a great difference in the life of an abused woman. When anyone is assaulted, the emotional damage is done. The victim's sense of control over events are shattered. The assailant is in control of the victim's fate and the victim's body. The victim's sense of dignity is also assaulted.

Being abused physicially, emotionally, or psychologically is very humiliating. When a woman is assaulted by a member of her own household, these problems are compounded. Normally one can turn to family members for support and comfort after an assault, and thereby re-establish a sense that some part of the world is safe. However, a woman who is battered by her spouse cannot even feel safe with the one who is supposed to love her most and who is supposed to protect her. Therefore, the very center of her world is unsafe. The abused woman sense of control is massively assaulted. In street assaults, for example, the assailant ultimately goes away, and the victim can regain some measure of control. On the other hand, the battered woman's assailant is there, day in and day out; her feeling of indignity is constantly with her. The victim of the street assault shares the indignity only with the assailant, who goes away, and possibly with a policeman or witness. The battered woman lives with the constant reminder of her shame, guilt, hopelessness, and feeling of being controlled.

Family violence often makes victims feel helpless and alone, therapists and personal coaches can play an exreamely important role in breaking the cycle of domestic violence. Even if a victim is not ready to leave the relationship or identify the batterer, you can recognize the problem and confirm to her that this is a serious problem that must be solved sooner rather than later. You should let the victims know they are not alone, they don't deserve to be abused, and that help is available.